baby book, listography, and love letters.

I don't know much of anything about my time in the womb, since I don't have a biological mother to tell me about it. She's not around, anyway. Last I heard she was working at Dollar General. I'll make a point not to go in there. I don't give two shits about her. The feeling is definitely mutual. I wonder if she knew that when I was floating around in her stomach, with her doing all those drugs and getting beaten and thrown around, that she was carrying a tiny baby who would grow up, be brilliant, and laugh at her dense surroundings. I have no idea why she named me Skylar. I hate my name. I unwillingly entered a cold and confusing world on April 24, 1992. George H.W. Bush was in office. I was born with the stars aligning under Taurus, giving me the qualities of being hardworking, artsy, and determined. This also gave me the quality of being very private and witty. I keep a low profile. I was born six weeks premature. Wow! What a nice start to life. When I was little, I hated Barbies and I was adopted when I was two. Everything was okay until I turned nine. My adoptive dad died. He was my best friend. This was my first look at death and all its glory. At nine years old. After that my life basically spiraled into a living hell. And no, I'm not overdramatic nor am I exaggerating. It's the honest truth, and anyone will agree with me. But I'm not going to delve into all that. Whining and complaining never accomplishes much. So here I am, at the tender age of 16. I'll be 17 in nine days.

If I could sit down and have coffee with anyone throughout history, I would choose:

• Franklin D. Roosevelt. My man. He brilliantly brought our country through the Great Depression. He did a shitload of work to successfully bring the economy out of a crisis that had never before been dealt with, all the while living with and overcoming the adversity of being crippled by polio.
• Alvin York. Not quite the common choice, I know. He was just an average, run-of-the-mill citizen who became one of the best and most influential soldiers in WWI. He proved that you can find your niche where you least expect it, even if its something tumultuous.
• Adolf Hitler. Yes, he slaughtered millions of innocent Jews, gypsies, and homosexuals to create an Aryan race. But he brought about much needed change that Germany is still reaping the benefits of today. He was highly intelligent, he just used it for the wrong reasons.
• The Rosenbergs, who were (unjustly?) electrocuted for espionage during the Cold War.
• Stalin and Musselini. I want to know what their childhoods were like.
• Jesus Christ. I'd ask him why he didn't make it more clear to his followers that religion is man-made, social control, and certainly the scum of the earth. I'd shake his hand though, and let him know I respect his humanitarian efforts.

Back to me. I bore myself. I suppose I could be a lot more boring, though. I'm tired a lot. I wake up and do the same thing basically everyday. I've got really supportive and worthwhile friends. I've got a boyfriend (I hate that term..) named Richie. Even though I'm stubborn, moody, and usually mad about something, he still loves me and still thinks the sun shines out of my ass. I love him too. I'm just a living, breathing person. Just like you. But really, I'm a little bitty baby. You probably don't like me, and I probably don't like you.

LISTOGRAPHY

list the things you like to do on days off:
Sleep
Eat
Read, read, read
list the people you love the most:
Julie Pickett
Richie Blackwell
Kayla Tysinger
Teddy Jones
Kristie Milan
Carter Milan
Cali Milan
Frankie Glenn
Diane Glenn
Justin and Cole Glenn
Frank and Alice Jones
list people you've lived with:
My biological parents
My adoptive parents
list why you wouldn't date yourself:
I'm mean
I'm a smartass
I hate doing dishes
I hate wearing makeup
list the things that turn you on:
Hahaha. Um, Richie's hands
Richie's arms
NOT George Michael
list things you'd want in your wedding vows:
I promise to love you even if you get fat;
I promise to take care of you and love you
no matter how mean you are to me.
if you could be friends with anyone, list who:
Woodrow Wilson
Ryan Gosling
Hayden Christensen
Natalie Portman
Emma Goldman
Edward Norton
Fairuza Balk

And finally, for ending this blog, I'm inserting the "love letter" we had to write in the Creative Writing unit in English. We had to write to our significant other, and if we didn't have one, we had to write to an anonymous crush. This makes me laugh:

Dear Richie,
You're a huge, comfy bed and a three hour nap on a rainy day. You're a warm bowl of tortilla soup when I wake up. You're the smell of Vicks Vapor Rub when my nose is stopped up. You are blackberry cobbler with French vanilla ice cream. You're everything in my whole life that has made me laugh until my stomach hurts. You're the smell of a kerosene heater in the winter time. You are every minute of the amazing sleep I got over Christmas break. You are the source of some of the best feeling I've ever felt. You were three years old when I was born. You came into this world before I was even thought of. Born with the lights in the sky aligning under Pisces, you and I (a Taurus) work together "harmoniously through love and understanding". I love you in the morning, and in the afternoon. I love you in the sunshine, and underneath the moon.
Love, Skylar

If there's one thing I've realized lately, it's that people will never rise above self image. I used to get so mad about how literally all my friends get compliments about how pretty they are, and all I ever get is, "you're so smart", or "your handwriting is so pretty". Yes, it's annoying, but I've come to realize that maybe the fact that I have brains over beauty is a good thing. My knowledge is going to get me farther than my straight teeth or blonde hair. Think about it. When we're all old, we're all going to be wrinkly and ugly. So why does it even matter now? Self image is a high school disease. And it's annoying. I'm certain that after high school, I'll be measured on more than what my hair looks like everyday. But anyway. My birthday is in 21 days, and this is what I want:

This is what Richie bought me. It was supposed to be here a week ago.

I want the Bloodwood, Vera, and Ebony ones. In 00g.

I like tunnels because you can actually see through my ear lobe. :)