I think it's mandatory for me to have my own copy of my favorite book.

To tie around my neck and head.

For summer. From American Apparel.

Who doesn't love incense? (Besides moms who complain about headaches.)

I need these in zeros.

I've wanted this forever..

I won't wear these as bedroom slippers.

I want my septum pierced.

A Chinese incense burner, essential to my kind.

After watching The Strangers, I love her.

To read.

To put my hair in when I don't feel like doing it.

A bullet belt. I like them a lot.

India ink, for our new tattoo gun.

Need 'em in zeros.

To put on the ceiling.

a night with abby

Friday after school I drove up to High Point to see Abby. After going two years without seeing her, it was a much needed visit. I finally found my way to North Main street (it took longer than I thought). After about an hour of catching up and getting introduced to Sphinx, the most gorgeous cat in the world, we decided to go to the grocery store for some penne noodles. Pier 1 caught our eye on the way home, so of course we had to stop by and admire the umbrella straws and Buddha candles (I want one SO bad). Finally we ended up in Target. Abby took me to the kitchen table she wanted for the apartment. We found out that it was the last table in the store, so Abby called Brian (who was at work) to make sure she could take some rent money to get the table (which, by the way was now only 80 bucks for a table and two chairs). So we sped home in the wagon and got back to Target in record time. The nice, strong men at Target kindly loaded the table into the back of the car and told us to drive home slowly. Abby's apartment is on the top floor, of course, so here we are, two weak girls hauling a kitchen table and two chairs up two flights of stairs. Needless to say, my knees were shaking for about an hour afterwards. Hilarious. So while we waited for Brian to get home from work, we had some worthwhile "girl talk" and dined in luxury with chips, salsa, and Abby's perfect tea. Around 12:30, Brian finally got home. Abby has pictures to document the fun we had with those damn darts. I sucked. But, we finally got to eat those penne noodles with ground turkey, marinara, and cheese. So good. Abby and I beasted in the Friends trivia game, simply because of the month spent watching nothing but all the different seasons when we were in Santa Fe. I'm so glad I got to see Abby, I missed the hell outta her. It was a good Friday night.

self: part three (Being)

A few years ago I traveled across the country to what I consider one of the most beautiful places in the world: Santa Fe, New Mexico. I don’t think I appreciated the vastness and beauty of New Mexico like I would if I were to go now. (Which is something I plan on doing in the future.) I can remember scenes in my head. There is absolutely nothing that compares to a Santa Fe sunset. We would walk from Ashley’s apartment complex to the corner of the sidewalk where you could see The Cuttery just to watch that huge inferno quietly set each day, never bothering anyone, just doing what it always does. Recently I was reading Blue Like Jazz by Donald Miller, and he was talking about driving up to Mount Tabor in Oregon and watching the sunsets there. I can’t quote him exactly because a friend is borrowing the book right now, but he said something like, “This is happening over the heads of millions of people who hardly notice it.” I loved that. Seriously, almost every idea he presents in his books are brilliant. I consider the man a genius. But when I read this, I thought about those New Mexican sunsets and the vastness; the otherness of my God. The God that has everything figured out, and even though I don’t (because I wasn’t crafted to), everything will be okay. It’s because of sunsets and clear, starry nights that I can truly, honestly stand in awe of His power, His otherness, His craft that I will never, ever in a million years be able to understand. Our minds were not made to chart God or figure Him out, so we might as well stop trying. We really should stop worrying so much about our existence. We should stop trying to figure God out, or the cosmos, or the nothingness, depending on what you believe. We could be using all this time to be finding cures for cancer or other life-threatening diseases. (I’m convinced the government has created these and they’re putting off the task of finding cures, but that’s another story..) I’m a believer in life after death, and I do believe there is a God who loves us and does not want us to live in fear. A loving, life saving God that breathed life into us and made us from the dust so skillfully would not put us in a state of terror that causes us to forget about the beauties of everyday life - the love of our children, our parents, our friends, the beauty of creation, the things that really matter in life, not some black hole. Aside from that, Julie told me about this radio talk show host, Alex Jones, and even though we were watching his videos at 4 am the other night and I was extremely sleepy, I still registered a lot of what he said and completely agreed. I’ll have a whole other spill about his stuff later.

Ad hoc, live your life stop worrying about what the world says.