this life that i love

march 9

i think that everyone needs to listen to the album, nothing is okay by the everybodyfields. ive been listening to them so much lately, i love it. they remind me of the bands we listened to and saw at merlefest when i was little. i miss going there! tickets are so expensive now, and mom never wants to go anymore. i want to go to bonnaroo this summer. ive wanted to go there forever. i hate when plans like that get forgotten or pushed aside. oh well. i just want to go to a music festival at some point this year. i will.

business has been picking up a lot lately at work, which is good. probably because its getting warmer outside (im so glad, i want to go to the beach).

i finished my research paper, turned it in and got an a+. talk about relief. my advisor still has to look at it, but im not worried about that. haha.

im turning eighteen in 46 days and im so excited. i cant waaaaaait. i dont know what to talk about.. but i never do. i miss my dad. i do every day but its when i really think about it that i realize how bad i wish he was home. like today, i had the day off and had nothing at all to do. and if he was home, we could've hung out. i miss him. and it looks like hes not coming home in april.

march 4

not much has went on lately! my life has basically been consumed by the graduation project, and i swear to myself and everyone else that i will be done with that research paper by tuesday. thats the "proposed" deadline for everyone. but anyway, this project has helped me to be so organized. i use my planner like crazy, as you can see. i love it though. i have a new love for office supplies and stacks of paper. i especially love paper clips. please dont judge me by this! im weird, i know. i love being organized though.

i think i want to go to grad school. im transferring (hopefully) to greensboro, so ill probably just stay there after the two years for graduate school. exciting, i know.

my hair is starting to fade a lot. :( i kinda want to put some blonde highlights in it. i think that might look good with the red. but i dont want really dramatic blonde that looks fake. my hair just really gets on my nerves. its had its run and its just not pretty anymore. i need to get a lot more layers, or something.

tyler and i were making fun of those aspca commercials with the sarah mclachlan song. seriously? there's starving children everywhere, even in this town, and theyre trying to guilt us into caring more about animals. i mean, animal abuse by no means is okay. im just saying.

anyway i just wanted to say that EMILY LIPE MAKES ME LIVID. and we are NOT changing all the hard work i did for the senior edition. i spent hours finishing all that typing, and afterwards dealt with burning wrists. im just preparing myself for presentation day and everyone criticizing the yearbook. everyone can suck it! love, skylar and tyler.

im still livid, mostly because i love that word.

february 26

this week has sucked so bad. too many things to list and no one likes a whiner.

L8R

february 25

^^this weekend, but not me. and better. and bonier. HAHA
__________________

i wanted to do this on here too, so i got it from kayla. it seems like my answers are never the same when i do this.

time started - 1:00 pm in Spanish 3. haha
full name - skylar cierra jones
nickname(s) - peanut, sky, little, jones
birthday - april 24, 1992
where were you born - north carolina
height - 5'7". kinda
weight - not telling
hair color - bright red
eye color - blue
shoe size - 9
ring size - 7
skin type (freckles, tan, albino, etc.) - pale
blood type - idk
siblings - kristie jeffrey lee justin cole styrling sleydar
tattoos - none YET
piercings - industrial, bellybutton, ears
hobbies - drawing, listening to music, watching tv, redwork

favorite:
color - gray
food - anything w/ noodles
candy - twizzlers
type of cheese - mozzerella (sp?)
pizza topping - cheeeeesy
salad dressing - ranch or italian
sandwich - banana and mayo
cereal - UMMMM. ctc, apple jacks, pops, honey comb, froot loops, fruity and cocoa pebbles, raisin bran...pretty much all kinds except kashi.
fruit - ALL KINDS
vegetable - broccoli
berry - strawberry
cake - chocolate
book - blue like jazz. or night. or eclipse.. haha
movie - american history x
tv show - FRIENDS
website - facebook. this and tumblr too
radio station - 100.3, 92.3, 94.1
font - arial, times
cartoon character - spongebob
actor - edward norton
actress - sandra bullock
cd - right now THE FAME MONSTER
song - idk but wish you were here by pink floyd
music group - led zeppelin, always
music type - pretty much all
day of the week - usually saturdays
month - april duh
season - spring
holiday - christmas
shampoo - dove
conditioner - same
phrase - SUCK IT UP PRINCESS
store - american eagle
weather - mild. breezy but warm
restaurant - too hard to pick
channel - the cw
weekend activity - uhhhhh. work?
hangout - my house or someone elses. the pb
sport to watch - football. NY GIANTS or baseball, RED SOX
sport to play - nonezies
animal - dog
flower - buttercup
board game - life
party game - .......
story from childhood - some story my papaw used to tell me about a dog, i dont remember it but i know i loved it.
body part - hands

have you ever:
been on a train - yes
been on a plane - yes
been in a car accident - yes
caused a car accident - yes
run into a wall - no
burned a potato chip - no
almost burned the house down - yeah
smoked - yes
been drunk - no
broken the law - yes
burned a cd (if yes, the one above is yes) - yes
kissed someone of the opposite sex - yes
kissed someone of the same sex - no
gotten engaged - no
had an online relationship - no
been rejected by a crush - who hasnt
loved - yeah
made yourself cry to get out of trouble - DUH
cried in public - yeah. at work
cried over a movie - yeah
fallen asleep in a movie theater - in monsters v. aliens, i was so tired and sick
given someone a bath - niece and nephew
been to a boarding school - no
been home-schooled - no
lost a valuable item - not really
bungee jumped - no
skied - no
met the president - no
met a celebrity - no
gotten a cavity - yes
shopped at abercrombie & fitch - fuck that
made a prank call - YES
skipped school - yes
faked sick to get out of school - yes
climbed a tree - yes
fallen from a tree - no
broken a bone - yes
sprained anything - no
passed out - yes
made yourself pass out - ...no
been to disney world - no
been to a theme park (not disney) - yes
said i love you and meant it (not to a relative) - yes
made a model volcano (working model) - no
made a clover leaf with your tounge - no

past:
what did you do yesterday - went to school, went to work
memory you miss the most - when dad was home, my adoptive dad, being little
memory you want to forget - idk, none
something you regretted after it was done - idk

the last:
song you heard - aenema...i never know if i spell that right
cd you bought - the fame monster
thing you said - youre stupid, tyler
time you cried - last night. stressed as hell
movie seen in a theater - valentines day
thing you ate - pop tart
person who called - mom
nail polish shade worn - none in forever
time you showered - this morning
person who complimented you - dmb prolly

at this moment:
what are you listening to - kelsea talk
what are you wearing - gray ae sweater, jeans, shoes
what are you thinking - jfkaljsdldjkl;sa
what are you scared of most - losing people i love

future:
occupation - tattoo artist or drug rehab counselor
marriage site - boone
honeymoon - europe
place to live - boone
kids - 0
car - my little baby neon forever
what are you doing tomorrow - school and work
will there be a WWIII - prob.
will politics ever be truthful - no

do you believe in:
heaven - yes
hell - yes
angels - yes
devil - yes
God - yes
buddha - yes
aliens - no
ghosts - yes
spirit (soul) - yes
soulmates - sure
reincarnation - no
love at first sight - no
karma - yes
love in general - sure
luck - no
yourself - sure

who and when was your first crush - idk someone in kindergarten prolly.
a celebrity crush - hey robert pattinson
whose number do you want - no ones
what is something you dont understand about the opposite sex - how they like the most dumbass girls on the planet. just sayin'
on scale of one to ten, how romantic are you - negative 5
what do you look for personality-wise - humility, honesty, kindness
something the opposite sex wears that you like - slip ons. tight flannels, if youre skinny
something the opposite sex wears that you don't like - tacky slouchy pants. idk
the most romantic thing that has happened to you - idk
do you want to hug somebody right now - no

describe:
mellow - relaxed
melancholy - sad
the perfect date - nap
the perfect mate - idk
why manhole covers are round - for the round people going in them

one or the other:
coke/pepsi - pepsi
sprite/7-up - Sprite
vanilla/chocolate - Chocolate
flowers/candy - candy
book/magazine - both. i guess book
tv/radio - tv i guess
glass half empty/half full - neither one ITS LIQUID IN A CUP
democrat/republican - socially dem.
colored pencils/markers - no colored pencils they dont blend well
coffee/tea - BOTH BOTH BOTH
sun/moon - moon
day/night - night
hot/cold - middle
dog/cat - puppies and kittens
button/zipper - button
cotton/feather pillow - feather
blue/purple - purple
jeans/shorts - jeans
long distance relationship/none - i'm not sure about that one. maybe for a short period of time long distance.
mechanical/regular pencil - Depends, writing- mechanical. Drawing-regular
romantic comedy/thriller - thriller
nsync/bsb - neither
peanut butter/jelly - neither
waffles/pancakes - waffles
letter/email - letter from my dad
florida/california - california, never been to fl
pizza/burgers - burgers
hat/visor - neither
movie at home/in theater - at home

first thing you think of when you hear:
yellow - bird
red lipstick - classy
socks - wool
cowtipping - cars
moulin rouge - glitter
greenland - ice
iceland - green
harry potter - "you're a wizard, harry"
red - my hair
blackberry - cobbler
rose - typical
rooster - aic
taxes - unfortunate
bill clinton - great economist
whipped cream - ice cream
george w. bush - idiot
lollipops - rainbow
dreams - id
love - life
guys - beer. haha kayla
south park - lame
boy bands - ....
pengiuns - tuxedos
girls - sluts
death - and all his friends
spoons - sliver
junk mail - email
dairy - milk
your father - tattoos
pizza - mellow mush
vitamin - e

are you:
happy - yes
sad - no
religious - no
crazy - no
messy - some
mad - no
slacker - sometimes
nerd - sometimes
bookworm - sometimes
jock - no
preppy - no
selfish - no
giving - yes
obsessive - no
violent - no
calm - sometimes
peaceful - sometimes
mellow - sometimes
eccentric - yes
caring - yes
untrustworthy - no
loyal - yes
patriotic - no
colorful - sometimes
artistic - yes

miscellaneous:
what color is your jacket - blue
do you shave - yeah
what color is your razor - purple
what size is your bed - queeeen
what color crayon would you be - olive
what are the last four digits of you phone number - 2816
how long does it take you to shower - 15 mins
who do you trust the most - no one. maybe my dad
is cussing a necessity in life - no, it's a habit
how about coffee - no
is the world screwed - the human race is
what something you can't live without - air
what time did you fall asleep - 11pm
can you live without a microwave - never
what do think about death - hate it
where and when do you want to be married - djskjdklajasdkl
why is the sky blue - not always blue
what is a good trait about yourself - open minded
how do you react to change - dont like it
do you talk to yourself - yeah sometimes
what is your opinion on love -
if you wrote a book, what would it be about - drugs...addiction and recovery, i dont have experience though. haha
time finished - 2:56 pm.. had to work on other stuff!

february 24

sorry for not writing yesterday. tragic, i know.

it really makes me mad when i work my ass off and dont get recognized, or appreciated for it one bit. im in such a bad mood right now.

thats all.

february 16

i'm back on track today. hey hey! i decided i'm going to start including pictures i find every day. how exciting, right!? a lot of these are courtesy of ashley brown's tumblr page. and yes, i want a little baby hedgehog! how could you ever resist such a sweet baby face? when did i become the type of person that gets giddy over hedgehogs?

yesterday i drove by and found the apartments that i was talking about. they are on weaver drive. i wrote down the number but i still havent called to get a pricing. i will by the end of this week i guess. theyre so cute, i really hope theyre not out of my price range. they have white brick and dark brown doors. and the stair railings are black iron. theyre pretty. i hope i can get one. ill have to post a picture on here soon.

we finished the movie phenomenon today in psychology. id never heard of it, but it has john travolta (<3) in it and kyra sedgwick (sp?) and it was so good. thats all i have to say about that. i have a feeling we're going to be watching a lot of movies in there.. that class is beyond boring. i've seen a lot of white rats being tested for psychological constructs this week and i might just die.

i got a valentines card from my dad yesterday :) they have a really small selection of cards, so the one he sent had puppies and said "god must love me, because he gave me a great friend like you". dad wrote beside friend: "/daughter" man, i miss him. they just moved him to a medical camp, and im not sure really what that means, but he said it sucked. he told me it was a lot like 'one flew over the cuckoo's nest' (thats a book that was written in the sixties.. i recommend it for a laugh or two). i feel so bad for him. could you even imagine being in a situation like that. its depressing to even think about. hes strong though. and he comes up for review in march, thank god.

im dyeing my hair tonight. yay. redhead induction tonight. i hope i dont look like a ginger. i mean i hope its a mix, like what i posted yesterday in the pictures of HW. crossin' my fingers!

tomorrow christian and i have to take our picture for 'born in the wrong generation'. i still think its hilarious that i got that. i didnt know people in the senior class even knew me that well. i guess ill just wear my (AUTHENTIC.. haha) led zep shirt and my reeeally flared pants. and no shoes, duh.

quote of the day: "how wonderful life is with gaga in the world." -elton john
word of the day: conundrum (n): a riddle, the answer to which involves a pun or play on words, as what is black and white and read all over? a newspaper.

february 13

i skipped yesterday. i hate when i forget stuff like this. oh well. yesterday was our deadline in yearbook, so for the whole hour and a half i was rushing in and out of the room, taking pictures, uploading them, adding captions, sorting through them on the y drive, finalizing, and finally submitting all my pages (all 26 of them). the senior portraits were the really stressful part. and the art page was assigned to someone else who's on the staff now, but i ended up doing it. so thankfully mrs. lynn ignored my first mistake of the period. (my senior portrait spreads were supposed to be turned in at the beginning of fourth period.)

anyway, that stress is over and done with. last night at work was great for once. it started snowing while i was there, so of course mom was blowing up my phone with texts telling me to be careful and stuff. but anyway, sometimes when i'm working, doing stuff like sweeping or bussing tables, i think about all the things that i need to do. like last night, it was my sketchbook and my second graduation project editorial. and i start getting stressed out. but last night i told myself that there's no need to stress over something that i can get done. so i'm not gonna worry about it.

i'm tired of the snow. it always happens on fridays, when we're not in school, and it ruins any weekend plans that i have. but thankfully sam and i are still going to olive garden with her family tonight. i'm excited.

mrs. goodnight gave me a new altered book to start on, since i never worked on my last one anymore. i think i actually threw it away because i got so agitated with trying to get things together in it. she told me to just really take my time with it. like, a lot of time. so the book she gave me is called luther tarbox, and it's about a fisherman who loves his wife and the sea. there's really cool pictures in it. i like nautical stuff a lot anyway. i'm going to read the story first before i start on it.

my new plans for this summer: work more, buy an apartment in lexington, start dccc on august 16.

that's all for today.

february 11

yearbook has been hectic this week. i've had a major deadline, which includes almost all of my pages. next week will be filled with senior superlatives and staff photos. lots of work and even more stress.

i like the new semester for the most part. art is, of course, my favorite part of the day. right now we're doing sketches of tools with ink washes, graphite, and charcoal. mrs goodnight was almost mad at me because i stopped working on my altered book. she gave me a new one and told me to start. she said that i shouldn't worry about the limitations that i have on it. that's always my problem in art. i set a really high standard for myself, and when something doesn't look exactly how i imagine it, i get so mad and just quit. i've got to stop doing that. the altered book she gave me is a small book, about a sailor, and it has lots of pictures of ships and the sea. i'm excited to start on it. there's a lot of latin verse that'll add good parts to the pages.

i'm going to try to write a little bit each day on here. i'm trying more and more to take life one day at a time.

I knew last night at work would suck. I mean, I'm not a little kid who doesn't know how to do anything. I'm 17 years old. I'm fully competent. I know how to write a fucking ticket. Just because I don't do everything exactly the way you want doesn't mean the world is gonna end. None of the other managers care.

ANYWAY. I'm off tonight, and I feel really relieved to say that. Because this is what I'm doing this afternoon: going to the doctor, going home, starting laundry, sleeping until 6:15, going to eat with Richie on his break, coming home, sleeping some more, and practicing my presentation. And that's like my ideal afternoon (minus the practice and laundry parts).

Have I really gotten to the point in my life where I'd rather stay home and sleep than make plans? I guess I have. I don't really care. It's better to learn when you're young that life isn't always peaches and bubble baths, in my opinion. That way, you're less likely to have a mid-life crisis.

My theories are stupid. But I'd like to think that they work for me.

I read somewhere the other day, I think in someone's Facebook quotes, something that said, "SUCK IT UP, PRINCESS." So that's what I've started telling myself when I start to complain, or if I'm tired and annoyed and stressed. (So I'm saying that to myself a lot.)

I've had my iPod on shuffle, and "Champagne Supernova" by Oasis just started playing. I forgot that I even had that song on here. I love it. I miss listening to it. It's one of those classics. I love going back and listening to songs that I used to love in like, 8th grade. The other day I listened to "Rockaway Beach" by The Ramones. That was my favorite song by them! I was in such a fix on them when I was 14. Haha. I remember making a shirt with Dee Dee Ramone playing bass on it. That's another thing I miss doing - making t-shirts (am I rambling..?) I had a Ben Folds shirt, an 'I Heart NM' shirt (I heart New Mexico), a shirt that said 'Who's Your Daddy?' with a picture of Darth Vader, and so many others. They definitely don't fit anymore though. I have been wanting to make a sundress with some Star Wars fabric though. Not sure if that will happen anytime soon.

Kayla let me borrow her new Paramore cd to make myself a copy, and it's soooo good. I haven't stopped listening to it since yesterday. Haha.

Well, I really am starting to ramble, so BYAH

I'm having a really good day so far. Then again, it is only first period. But we had a two hour delay, and it was nice to get a little bit more rest than usual. And I'm off work today!

Tonight I'm going to Appalachian Ski Mountain to sit by the fire in the lodge with my sister, while the "men" snowboard. I think Carter is going too. Poor baby Richie has to work though. He's had the past two days off though! Haha. I'm excited. If I could move to the mountains right now, you better believe I would. I love it so much there. I love the weather in the summer, how mild and breezy it is. And I love the culture there. Especially in towns like Asheville and Boone. So many free spirits, so much art, so many hippies - everything that I love and aspire after is there. I'm pretty sure that after a few years of living in High Point I'm going to be packing up and heading west. (And dragging R Blackwell along, even if he objects! I know he loves it too..) Hopefully by then we'll be traveling by 1970 Volkswagen Beetle. Oh yeah, I love the landscape to. One of God's best creations.

Yeah, I'm set on getting that for $1,200 THIS SPRING. No one understands why I'd want to trade a 2004 model car for an old rickety bug. Well, you just have to know me, I guess. I'm stubborn as hell.

I really want Starbucks to call me back. The WWW said they were hiring baristas. I would love it so much if I could work there. Nothing against Randy's. I mean it basically is where I live, but I'd like to get away from VEGTUBULL PLYAAATES. People in this community kill me. Haha.

Well.. nothing else to really write about. Congrats to Julie and Kayla for finishing their graduation projects. I need some intervention to get going on mine. I respect them for finishing theirs. Haha. And also congrats to you two for graduating in SIX DAYS. I hope both of you love every minute of being away from this institution. Go get em!

^_^

Earlier I posted this new year's list, but I revised it a little.

I realized the other day that I really like to-do lists. As unconventional as I am, I like organization.

So here's a stab at one...

- start shopping for the apartment
- put in the deposit and first month's rent in april
- take better care of my skin (if that's possible.. nothing works)
- drink more water
- try to be a little more confident
- put the neon in my name, and if not, buy the bug from Johnny for $1,200.
- stop worrying so much about my health
- relax
- ask for days off if i feel overwhelmed
- get through these last few months of hell
- decide on my tattoo by the beginning of april
- get a puppy
- stop being so shy; be more sure of myself and my words
- read more
- stay a night in Boone by myself
- stay a night in Boone with Richie
- FOCUS when I start college
- get a new job (i hope starbucks calls me back)
- go hiking once a month. i miss hiking
- go canoeing a lot too. havent been to zaloo's since 2007
- spend a day at mellow and krankies
- be myself more
- be more in touch with my spirituality
- get in shape
- draw more, be more artistic
- finish the grad project
- be able to exempt all 2nd semester exams (work hard..)
- keep up with my journal every day

I guess that's it. how well i'm going to accomplish all those things, that's up in the air. what i wrote in my journal last night really upset me. so I just want to improve myself.

with ink on her hands

I always love Tuesdays. DCS is easy. We always start new stuff on Mondays, and he works this room like a sweatshop. But I finished my business letters and now I have some time to write this.

My English class is going to WFU Library tomorrow to do, as Mrs. Jones would say, "scholarly research". Yeah, we all laughed at that one. Anywho, at the beginning of the semester she gave us a list of books that had previously been banned for various reasons. Some books included..

"Harry Potter Series: The most common reason cited for the banning of these J.K. Rowling books is their use of witchcraft and the fear that fantasy and reality could become confused for children. However, some challenges have arisen over the violence it portrays.

Slaughterhouse Five: Kurt Vonnegut's novel has been challenged and banned because of its profanity, violence, and explicit sexuality.

Fahrenheit 451: Ray Bradbury's book is about censorship and those who ban books for fear of creating too much individualism and independent thought. In late 1998, this book was removed from the required reading list of the West Marion High School in Foxworth, Mississippi. A parent complained of the use of the words "God damn" in the book. Subsequently, the superintendent instructed the the teacher to remove the book from the required reading list."

It makes me sad that two of my favorite (Slaughterhouse and Fahrenheit) are banned. I mean, Slaughterhouse Five really is "explicit", but it's just so good. Kurt Vonnegut is brilliant. I don't know if he was mad about his book being banned. He probably knew it would be anyway. I don't think that F.451 should have been banned at all, though. It is a very psychoanalitic story, but it teaches the lesson that books are important. Bradbury is definitely one of my heroes. But you know, here in America, we completely shun the moral of an entire story because of the phrase "god damn". Really?

Mrs. Jones assigned us to pick a book off of the banned book list, and I chose the Bell Jar. One, because I've already read it (shhhh...) and two, it's dark and wonderful. I did read it a lot slower this time. I mean, I paid a lot more attention. I have a tendency to get in too much of a hurry when I read a good book. We are going to WFU tomorrow to research the circumstances around our book's banning. Some people chose really horrible ones. Like, Gulliver's Travels and Lady Chatterly's Lover. I've never liked really intricate, old-style books. I'm a pretty cut and dry reader. And writer!

But anyway, I love Tuesdays because I get to go to the Dispatch, which I actually really enjoy doing now. I used to not like it as much, because there wasn't much for me to do the first few meetings, but now they have me editing and working on Quark (hopefully, if the IT guy got everything worked out!) Today I get to place my first editorial and photo on my new layout. I'm looking forward to 3:30. Plus, it always smells like newsprint and coffee in there. And Michelle smells like a caramel latte. Yeeeaaahhh am I weird or what!?!

It was pathetic how slow we were at work last night. Taylor and I goof around a lot more than we probably should. We were talking about Chris Crocker's "I'll Look at You Like You're Stupid", and I decided to act like that to whatever Todd said. So if he'd ask me a question, I shook my head back and forth a little too dramatically. Really, you would have had to be there. Sometimes, I actually like working. Randy told me the other day to "keep up the good work", I couldn't believe that.

I've got more business letters to write! YAY.



"Psychology tells me.. your body language indicates to me that you wanna be just like me. I invented a phrase today, and it's I'll look at you like you're stupid."

141 days until daddy is home.

a long bunch of thankfulness.

I feel like this year has flown by. I want to say today that I'm really thankful for my job. Last night at work was very busy. I was by myself for about three hours, and people kept pouring through the doors. Usually this stresses me out, but for some reason, last night I was just in a mood to work. My face lit up when the Atheys came in with little Matthew. He's seriously my favorite little kid in the whole world. After making three pots of coffee (which I love doing, it smells so good), I finally got to go sit down and talk to Matt. He's so funny! He wanted to help me clean off all of the tables, so I let him hand me the ketchups and move the salts and peppers. I love him. It's people like him and his family that make me love working there. Today, I am also very thankful for my ability and opportunity to learn. This year especially, I really dread coming to school each morning. But I really want to understand that I have an incredible advantage by living here. Though I do not consider myself a proud American, I am very grateful for the opportunities that my generation is receiving. I think about the children around the world who can't go to school, who would die to sit in a desk and learn about asymptotes and Hamlet like I do, and half the time, I'm complaining about another day in high school. I'm not saying that I love school, I'm just saying that I'm glad that I have a chance to really learn. On that note, I'm so thankful that I'm graduating this year. It will be great to walk across the stage and finally say that I'm moving on.

My horoscope for today says: Don't be too alarmed if you start to see or hear things that aren't there -- it's just your subconscious trying to spice things up a little! Go with the flow and things should settle down soon.

Guess I'm gonna see a ghost today.

I'm a little nervous - my phone bill is due tomorrow and I only have half of the payment ready. Only 35 more dollars to go! Hopefully we'll do good in tips at work. "Everything's gonna be alright.."

Have a good day.

knick knacks

I remember a long time ago when I had so much time on my hands. I did little needleworks all the time. That was around the time when I was jobless and never took The Beatles out of the music player. I miss doing the needleworks, and now that I've started my patchwork blanket, I want to get back into sewing even more. I bought all of the fabrics for the blanket about three months ago, and amidst my busy schedule, I've managed to cut the squares, but have yet to start sewing. My mom has to get a new Singer anyway. I follow the Milkmoon blog, and I looked at all of her cute little redwork projects today, and it really inspired me to start some of my own. I'll be heading to Hobby Lobby soon for some red thread and off-white fabric! I was thinking of creating some Christmas scenes and giving them to the women in my family, if I can have a few done by then. I looked up a few, and these were some of my favorites:





I can't wait to get started on my little projects; I need to start jotting down ideas for designs. I need suggestions, especially for ones that I make for my sweet Granny.

It's that time of year again to pull out Sufjan Stevens' Christmas albums. I never get enough of his Christmas songs, especially "Sister Winter". It's a sad song, but it's just so pretty.

All my gifts I gave everything you
Your strange imagination
You threw it all away

Now my heart is
Returned to sister winter
Now my heart is
As cold as ice

I don't need to speed Christmas up, because I'm always sad when it's gone. So, I've decided to post one thing that I'm thankful for every day up until Thanksgiving. Tell me what you're thankful for!

Today, I am thankful for my math teacher. She helped me with every little question I had today about standard deviation and never lost her patience.

possibility

Mom came home from the doctor last night and gave me a survey to fill out. Some of the questions were like, "Do you often wonder what will happen after you die?" Yes, who doesn't? I thought. "When you wake up in the morning, do you often dread facing the day?" Again, I wondered who didn't from time to time. (Then I realized that I do almost every day..) The questions went on to ask, "You over-analyze everything and automatically think the worst." Absolutely, I thought. Towards the bottom of the paper, after I had (seriously) answered yes to all of the questions, the words stared up at me as if the answer had been there all along:

"If you answered yes to more than 3 of these questions, there is an increased possibility that you are suffering from clinical depression."

..I wasn't surprised. And it didn't really bother me as much as it probably should have. Then I thought about it. Without depression, without insanity, without all out madness, the world would be a very boring place. Some of the best artists and musicians have been crazy. So maybe sometimes when I wake up with the sinking feeling in my chest, it's a gift. Bless this mess.

I turn the lights out
I clean the sheets
You change the station
Turn up the heat

In the dark you tell me of a flower
that only blooms in the violet hour

Richie Blackwell, I love you. Thank you for standing by my side, even though I'm a crazy mess of emotion and unpredictable thought.

..

i miss my dad.